I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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