I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
