I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
