Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
