I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
