what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
