all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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