Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
