Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
