Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
