if you like me you must not know who I am
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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