Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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