ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
