So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
as a side note pls kill me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
