look no pants
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
