I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
