She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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