He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
