I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
this boner is exhausting
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
