if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
