Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
