is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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