i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i believe in u and ur pee
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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