If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
