anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
