No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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