Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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