"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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