please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
