My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
