wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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