I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
