I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
