Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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