You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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