you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
