Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Holy sore nipples Batman
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
