you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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