i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
