i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
