So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Never underestimate the power of titties
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
