now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
