Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
