I feel like I'm in dance class right now
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
