you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I want to fling myself into the sun
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
