His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
