don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
