Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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