playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
