I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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